


Tiny heart, tiny beat

by berryboys



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Choking, Dom/sub, Humiliation, M/M, Overstimulation, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 04:57:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17615912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/berryboys/pseuds/berryboys
Summary: He’s fucking Jaehyun, sure, but what Jaehyun does in his intimacy, what he jerks off to when he’s alone – which Mark hopes is not recent, because what kind of fool would choose porn over him? – is none of Mark’s business.





	Tiny heart, tiny beat

**Author's Note:**

> You might ask, why do I come back with porn again? Who has berry turned into? Why won't I stop writing mark fics?  
> And I gotta say, it's not my fault, it's people's (this time adam's) fault for commissioning me smut again. #commissionangstplease2019
> 
> Before reading, please read the tags if you don't want any surprises. And a little warning: be aware that when the smut begins, they're in a scene; even before it begins, I'd say.

In Mark’s life, starting off on the right foot is a mythical concept.

Contrary to popular belief, it’s not always his fault, which is definitely a positive sign. Often it goes like this: Mark meets someone new, talks too much, laughs too loud and in a turmoil of words and laughter and the inability to hide his personality – just a bit, that bit that one doesn’t show until there’s trust between the two sides – Mark winds up saying or doing something very embarrassing.

And he doesn’t mean plain, blush-inducing embarrassing. It’s the sort of shame that lasts for days, for years sometimes, and that doesn’t fail to bring a wave of self-hate that turns Mark’s face into a human pomegranate. The sort of the shame that, upon remembering it ten years later, he still wishes the ground could swallow him, literally, efficiently and permanently. Mark doesn’t have many examples, because he has mastered the art of deleting memories or pushing them into the deepest part of his brain, but there are some mistakes that can’t be forgotten: the day he jumped onto Yukhei, sure that Yukhei had been giving him signals for at least two months, just to find out that Yukhei wanted him to date his sister.

Perhaps Yukhei should have been embarrassed for assuming that Mark was straight, but that isn’t enough of a consolation for Mark.

With Jung Jaehyun, however, it’s not Mark who messes up. Not entirely.

Yet he holds some fault in how he reacts, because when he feels a hand smashing his butt, he doesn’t even consider that it could be an accident. The smack is hard, not a brush, not someone bumping on him and touching his ass without any intentions. It’s on purpose, and Mark doesn’t need to turn around to decide what he’s going to do with the culprit.

The culprit, with his dirty hand and his dirty mind, is on the floor before he can understand what’s happening. And Mark is on top of him, which he realizes isn’t the best punishment, but his fist is enough of a punishment anyway.

 

 

 

 

The first words Mark ever hears from Jaehyun’s mouth are:

“Shit, I’m sorry.”

It’s hard not to be sorry when Jeno is pressing ice against the swelling of your cheek, though.

“You better be,” Mark says, not feeling a piece of pity for him.

This situation could have been much worse, Mark admits that. He was lucky that Jaehyun was Jeno’s friend, not some complete stranger that decided to harass him, because if it hadn’t been the case, no one would have stopped the fight. Mark doesn’t get into fights that often, but it has happened before. He’s unable not to attack anyone that harasses him, and then his friends jump into the fight, which drives Mark’s friends to jump in too – and that’s how you get banned from yet another club. Mark prefers getting banned to allowing someone to bother him, so there’s that.

With Jung Jaehyun, the process is different. Apparently, Mark is the only one who hasn’t met Jaehyun yet, because all his friends collaborate to separate them instead of helping Mark to _end_ Jaehyun. Which isn’t fair, in his opinion, because Jaehyun still touched his ass without permission and he’s an asshole that Mark _must_ end.

And now they’re in Jeno’s bathroom, Jaehyun sitting on the toilet and Jeno sitting on the edge of the bath, and Mark glares at both of them from his position, leaning against the sink. He can hear the rest of their friends waiting in the living room, though judging the laughter that seeps under the door, they’re not very worried about Jaehyun anymore.

“I thought you were Jaemin!” Jaehyun protests, almost whines, tensing his jaw as Jeno moves the ice to another angle.

Jaehyun looks innocent, and anyone else would believe his claims within a second, but Mark knows not to trust a man’s face. Pretty boys? They’re the worst, used to getting away with their schemes and their fishy tactics.

“Whoever Jaemin is, I don’t think he’d appreciate it,” Mark retorts.

Jeno scoffs at that, though he halts as soon as Mark lifts his eyebrows at him, challenging. And Jeno, even not being the smartest boy in the world, knows that he shouldn’t joke around with Mark when he’s mad.

“Of course he does,” Jaehyun refutes, a mildly offended frown on his face. “I don’t slap anyone’s ass without consent.”

“You sure about that?”

It’s almost impossible to make out if the blush on Jaehyun’s face is because of Mark’s question, because of the ice, or because Mark punched him too hard. “It was an accident!” he insists, and when Mark doesn’t falter, he sends Jeno a pleading look.

“I have to side with Mark on this,” Jeno says with a shrug. This doesn’t happen often, because Jeno takes any chance to make fun of Mark whether he deserves it or not, so Mark feels a rush of interest. That’s it, until Jeno opens his mouth, “Have you seen his ass? How could you mistake _that_ for Jaemin’s ass?”

Mark knows, since the first second of his statement, what Jeno’s intentions are. A man, Jeno says, no matter his sexuality, really, is incapable of not taking a peek if you say someone has a good ass. No matter if the victim of such attention is a friend, their mortal enemy, or your best friend’s father.

When Jaehyun’s eyes immediately travel down, even if Mark is facing him and he won’t see his ass, Mark has no option but to admit Jeno won this time. And then Jaehyun looks at Mark’s face, like a deer caught in headlights, probably fearing that Mark will fight him for this. Again.

Instead, Mark lets out an exasperated, “Jeno, what the fuck.”

And Jeno’s lips widen into the most annoying grin Mark has ever seen. “Don’t be shy, he already touched it,” he reminds him, reminds them, tone so joyful that Mark swears he will remember this for the next ten years.

 

 

 

 

If life has taught Mark a lesson, it’s that starting off on the right foot is overrated.

It becomes pretty evident when, two months after Jaehyun slapped his ass, is Mark who slaps Jaehyun’s ass. Pretty evident, and pretty different, because Mark has to bite his tongue not to laugh out loud, and Jaehyun groans in protest, in shame, well aware of why Mark is doing this. Despite that, his knees don’t tremble, keep him up on four for Mark to take.

It’s the third time they have sex, the second time Jaehyun begs to get fucked, and the first time Mark comes this hard. And then they lie in bed, the awkwardness of the first encounters gone, and Jaehyun rolls on his side to look at Mark.

“You good?” Mark asks, lying on his back, still trying to recover his breath.

Jaehyun has rosy cheeks, the air escaping through his lips as he pants, but somehow Mark knows that it’s not just because Mark had him at his mercy during the last hour. It’s a little blush beyond the _getting the fuck of your life_ type. It doesn’t catch Mark off guard, because Jaehyun has been opening up bit by bit, with small steps, and despite the appearances, he shows some coyness from time to time.

“Yeah,” Jaehyun assures him. His eyes flicker from Mark’s face to a point behind him, like he needs a distraction. “I was just wondering-”

Mark can tell what he’s wondering. He has wondered too. Jaehyun hasn’t told anyone about this, otherwise Mark would have been bombarded with questions from Jeno, or even from Youngho, who is closer to Jaehyun than to him.

“Go ahead,” Mark prompts him.

And Jaehyun asks the exact question Mark is expecting, “Are we hiding this?”

It’s not that Mark is embarrassed of Jaehyun, or of the concept of fucking the guy he punched the first time they met, though the continuous jokes about Jaehyun touching his ass have become unbearable by now. But it’s hard to explain that, during Jeno’s birthday, they drank a bit more than they should have and ended up making out in the bathroom. It’s hard to explain how they got to that point too, because no one will understand the sexual tension that was floating in the air, as if Jaehyun’s hand slapping his ass had made Jaehyun automatically see him from a different light since the beginning. Which shouldn’t be an As If, because Mark knows the power his ass has. And even if Mark is a strong-minded guy, there’s a limit to how much eye fucking he can deal with before taking the matter into his own hands.

“I don’t see why we should,” Mark replies, calm, but watching every small detail of Jaehyun’s reaction. “Is this not your thing?”

Of course it isn’t. Boys like Jaehyun don’t sleep around, don’t have casual sex, or they pretend they don’t. Jaehyun is a mama boy, and Mark is familiar with his kind. With his perfect job, getting an insanely high pay straight out of college, his life solved and never forced to do anything that he doesn’t want to – except being perfect in his parents’ eyes, that frustration that builds up, higher and higher until it explodes in the most private part of his life. Jaehyun has a big problem, but he doesn’t know that yet: the way Jaehyun grabs onto Mark’s back while he fucks into him faster, eyelids fluttering and pupils staring at Mark like he’s the most important person in the world, almost with devotion. The way he parts his lips but doesn’t manage to confess, to find the right words maybe, what he wants Mark to do to him.

Jaehyun has a big problem, and Mark has the solution.

“I guess not,” Jaehyun admits. He tilts his head over his own hand, elbow propping him up on his side. “But I like it.”

Mark raises his eyebrows at him, unable to hold his laughter. The seriousness of the conversation dissipates within a second, and when Jaehyun realizes that Mark is making fun of him, he scoffs and plops down back on the bed.

“I noticed that,” Mark points out.

“Very funny.” Jaehyun’s protest dies in a sigh, and he looks at the ceiling, bangs falling over his eyes. He’s not completely relaxed, aware that Mark has turned his head to stare at him, and so he takes his time to gather his thoughts before talking. “I don’t want to hide this, but-.” He traps his lower lip into his mouth, a hint of concern in his voice. “Whatever we do here, it stays between us.”

There’s a first for everything, but sometimes a first means a hunch, a subtle sign of who Jaehyun is, even if Jaehyun ignores that fact himself. And it’s then, after fucking Jaehyun on four and letting him stutter over the status of their relationship, when Mark catches a glimpse of what Jaehyun could be for him.

 

 

 

 

Leaving the porn tabs open is a teen-like mistake, but it’s also a very Jaehyun-like mistake.

So when Jaehyun lends Mark his phone to make a call, since Mark’s speakers are broken – he needs a new phone with urgency – he isn’t the least surprised to see that Jaehyun didn’t close his private browser. In all honesty, Mark doesn’t do it on purpose; he’s not used to Jaehyun’s phone, only his, so he swipes his finger over the wrong zone and the screen displays all the applications that are active at the moment.

It’s obvious Jaehyun hasn’t closed them for a reason, since there are too many of them. He must not have wanted to lose them, not thinking that he could have bookmarked them, or saved the links in his notes, or anything except leaving them open, really.

Mark bites down on his lower lip, vacillating. He shouldn’t do this. He’s fucking Jaehyun, sure, but what Jaehyun does in his intimacy, what he jerks off to when he’s alone – which Mark hopes is not recent, because what kind of fool would choose porn over him? – is none of Mark’s business. Yet the tiny superior part of one of the tabs, red and black, catches his attention, and Mark reads the words once and again until he convinces himself that he’s not having hallucinations. The first word is _bondage_.

The phone nearly slips off his hands, and suddenly the noises coming from the kitchen are too loud, threatening, as if the universe (or Mark’s ears) knows that he’s doing something that he shouldn’t.

Yet Mark isn’t a coward. Even with shaking hands, it takes him less than fifteen seconds: he copies the link, sends it to himself, and then deletes the message from Jaehyun’s phone.

 

 

 

 

The video is nothing scandalous, though scandalizing Mark at this point of his sexual life is beyond challenging. The bottom is tied up, hanging off the ceiling for the other guy to fuck. There’s both edging and overstimulation, though Mark has had someone overstimulated before and he can tell that the bottom isn’t enjoying it that much, mostly pretending. The sex itself isn’t that rough, but their words are, and Mark is halfway into the video when he has that little revelation he was expecting: Jaehyun didn’t save this video because of the bondage, or the edging, or anything physical; it was because of how they treat each other, one obliging and obedient, the other unsparing and degrading.

The discovery provokes a whirlwind of emotions within Mark, so he decides to rest his thoughts for a few days. Then he watches the video again. A second analysis clears his mind up, leaving no doubts about why Jaehyun was curious or why he liked this, and that’s enough for Mark to have a spark of hope.

But Mark doesn’t dare to consider the possibility of telling Jaehyun. Jaehyun will never ask for it, however, because he’s too inexperienced to realize that Mark can help him; even less experienced to tell that Mark needs the opposite from him. It’ll become his little secret as time passes unless Mark takes the lead.

The problem is that Mark hasn’t tried to look for someone like Jaehyun in a while, thus he feels outdated and rusty. Besides, he had his reasons not to seek it out. It can grow exhausting sometimes, for many boys aren’t exactly what Mark needs, for he needs them to obey but they rebel, unable to read Mark’s mood or to create a special link at all. Having sex isn’t that serious, but if Mark is venturing into other issues, that link can’t be missing.

And to top it all, Mark has realized that his sexual preferences have become a trend lately, that there are people around that don’t understand the depth of such urge and assume that it’s just a way to put some spice into their sexual life. Something that they can toss aside when they get bored of it. Maybe it is. But for Mark that’s impossible; it’s integrated inside him, and when he goes for too long without making someone submit to him, he feels an odd emotional thirst, an emptiness that crawls within him. It’s reason why he gets a bit too rough with Jaehyun sometimes, before he remembers that he can’t, that Jaehyun hasn’t given him permission nor knows what’s going on.

That’s the second problem. This isn’t about taking care of Jaehyun. It’s one for the other, a thing of two that requires effort from Jaehyun as well, and Mark doubts he’s ready for it, or just ready to accept it at all.

 

 

 

 

“So, Jaehyun?”

When Youngho approaches him, Mark isn’t especially shocked. They have spent half of their day trying to fix Jeno’s car, and now that the night is falling, the four of them – Jaehyun, Jeno, Youngho and he – are set to give up. He doesn’t understand why Jeno is so against to going to the garage in the first place, because Jaehyun wouldn’t have any issue paying for it, yet Jeno is prideful and stubborn and thinks that forcing them to waste their whole day is a better option.

Mark surrenders first, sits on the front stairs and observes Jeno and Jaehyun bicker back and forth. Youngho still has keeps his head beneath the hood, inspecting the car, no matter if it’s evident none of them have enough knowledge to do this. When he decides to renounce as well, Jeno is still arguing with Jaehyun, and neither of them realizes they have been abandoned.

“He already told you?” Mark shoots back, trying to gain some time as Youngho squats beside him. First, because he wants to know how much Jaehyun revealed, and second, because he’s not ready to explain the situation himself.

Youngho shakes his head. “He tried,” he says, resigned. Mark imagines Jaehyun stuttering, unable to find the way to describe their relationship. He guesses that announcing that they’re fucking, simple and plain, is too blunt for someone like Jaehyun. Youngho’s lips slant into a satisfied smile, “Then I saw you two this afternoon. It’s pretty evident once you have some hints.”

That could mean many things. Since Jaehyun hasn’t told Youngho anything explicit, Youngho might think they’re dating. Perhaps they are, it’s just that Mark thinks it’s too soon to put a label on their relationship. It’s true they meet up beyond sex, which doesn’t have to imply anything serious. Yet Jaehyun is easy to talk to, laughs at Mark’s jokes even when they’re not funny, with that subtle, pleased smile of his, and Mark is very comfortable with him. The lines are quite blurred, but Mark is familiar with that feeling of tiptoeing around people without committing.

“It’s probably not what you think,” Mark decides to answer at last. He can’t lie to Youngho, but he can’t give details about their doubts, about why Mark suspects they have a future that it isn’t being simple fuck buddies.

Youngho scrunches his forehead, impressed at his assumption. “What do I think?”

“That it’s romantic.”

“It’s always romantic with Jaehyun,” Youngho refutes so fast that it’d stop anyone from contradicting him.

It confirms Mark’s suppositions. It _has_ always been romantic with Jaehyun, or it seems so. Mark isn’t wrong: Jaehyun is a relationship guy, not a casual sex guy. But Jaehyun might not like the mold he and others created for himself, and he knows – or unconsciously intuits – that Mark can create a different mold for him, one in which he can be himself.

Mark catches Jaehyun observing them, almost as if he could hear them, and he sends him a soothing smile. The worry doesn’t disappear from Jaehyun’s eyes though, and when he looks over to Youngho, Jaehyun seems certain of what’s happening.

However, Youngho hasn’t noticed the exchange, and Mark hurries up to end the conversation, “If you say so.” Jaehyun is already taking his dirty gloves off, scrutinizing and ready to interrupt them no matter if Mark can handle the situation or not. With a shrug, Mark adds, “I like him. He’s fine.”

Judging the way he smiles, Youngho isn’t convinced, but he opts for not asking any more questions. “If you say so,” he teases back.

He doesn’t have time to reply, because Jaehyun has closed the distance in a matter of seconds, leaving Jeno alone and whining over his car. Even though it’s not evident, Jaehyun is nervous. Mark wishes he could calm him down, but with Youngho in between, it’ll be odd at best if he treats Jaehyun like he does in bed.

“Hey,” he greets them, as if they hadn’t spent the afternoon together. He distractedly rubs his hands together, a clear of sign that he’s not thinking about what he’s talking about; Mark has seen him do this before. “I think I convinced Jeno. He’s so stubborn.”

Mark pats the space between Youngho and him, and Jaehyun doesn’t hesitate to take the invitation. “Look who’s talking,” Mark whispers with delicacy, threading his fingers in Jaehyun’s hair. “Mister Stubborn.”

It’s a very subtle gesture of affection, and Mark makes sure Youngho doesn’t catch it. Mark’s intention is to watch Jaehyun’s reaction instead, to test how he takes being babied in front of his friends. His strategy works: Jaehyun shoots him a side look, mildly alarmed and strangely pleased, as if he can’t understand why Mark is being affectionate if they haven’t announced their status to the world. Still, he’s too weak to reject his advances, too weak to grab Mark by his wrist and place it where it belongs.

As soon as Youngho gets up to aid Jeno to clean the car’s hood, Mark lets go. It leaves Jaehyun just as confused, and Mark discovers him tilting his head to the side as to chase his touch. Jaehyun is fast enough to notice what he’s doing and recompose himself, but Mark is faster when he’s observing.

“Are you going to stay tonight?” Mark asks him a few seconds later, right as Jaehyun manages to relax.

Surprise crosses his expression, since Jaehyun isn’t expecting that question. They usually don’t have to ask, they just carry the presumption of spending the night together if there’s nothing preventing them from doing so. Mark is asking because he needs Jaehyun to be aware of why he wants to be together tonight, and Jaehyun replies exactly what Mark is hoping for. “Should I?”

“I wanted to talk about something.”

Jaehyun smiles at him out of resignation, his dimples deepening. “God, are you _we have to talk_ -ing me?”

“It’s something good,” Mark assures him. He returns the smile, conscious that he’s acting with excessive seriousness and Jaehyun might assume the worst; and that’s the last of Mark’s wishes, because he has to be Jaehyun’s comfort. “I hope, at least.”

That last note draws a sigh out of Jaehyun, and there it is: his stubbornness creeping up, his impatience flowering because he wants to have that talk right now, not a couple of hours later. It’s always fun to choke that prompt of immaturity, it feels as if Mark put out the first flame of a fire.

“Don’t make me nervous,” he says, like it’s a joke, hiding that same nervousness behind laughter. But his left hand has become a fist, and Mark covers it with his own hand without hesitation. Upon realizing that Mark can read his body language to the smallest detail, the vulnerability that Jaehyun feels is evident, and it’s too late for him to pretend that he doesn’t care. “You’re going to say you’re not doing anything but you _are_.”

Mark unabashedly grins, pleased. It’s not because of Jaehyun’s words, but because of the way Jaehyun fears in silence, talks like he could lose something – someone – and that gives Mark a strange sort of hope: what Mark finds in him, Jaehyun finds it back in Mark, even if he can’t put a name to it.

And Mark can name it for him.

 

 

 

 

Truth to be told, Mark isn’t ready to bring it up.

There’s always room for mistakes, for misinterpretations, and no matter how certain Mark is – not only because of what he found on his phone – he doesn’t dismiss the possibility of Jaehyun backing away.

Mark lets Jaehyun avoid the topic at first, if just because it allows Mark to order his thoughts too. They watch half of a movie before Jaehyun climbs onto his lap to make out, with the excuse that Mark seems to be more interested in the movie than in him. Both of them know that it’s a lie, that they’re too distracted to follow the plot of the movie; and far from that, Mark can only think about Jaehyun. About the things he could do to Jaehyun if he accepts him whole. And when Jaehyun initiates the kiss, Mark has the urge to pull at his hair and bite down until both of them taste blood; instead he grabs Jaehyun’s nape and kisses him gently, feeling Jaehyun’s accelerated pulse beneath his fingers.

Mark can’t afford losing control. Losing control means that he can’t take care of Jaehyun, and that’s his main aim in this. That’s the reason, as Jaehyun moans into the kiss, Mark forces himself to set his hands on Jaehyun’s chest and push him away. Jaehyun fights against that, doesn’t retaliate, and Mark gives in for a few more seconds, aware that Jaehyun is just trying to delay the conversation.

It’s somehow funny that Jaehyun thinks that Mark is about to give him bad news, even after Mark guaranteed him it wasn’t the case. Yet it’s touching that Jaehyun has gotten so _attached_ to him that he prefers convincing Mark with sex, as if Mark would let this pass as long as Jaehyun opens his legs for him.

When Mark uses enough force to break the kiss, Jaehyun utters a soft protesting noise. He looks at Mark with a hint of indignation, because Mark is ruining the fun, their fun, and Mark makes an effort not to laugh at him.

He swings his thumb over Jaehyun’s lower lip, making him close his mouth, and says, “Don’t be so scared.”

“I’m not scared,” Jaehyun defends himself.

It’s a lie, and Mark represses the urge of telling him not to lie to him. Jaehyun doesn’t have rules, doesn’t know how to behave, and Mark can’t blame him for it, even if his small signs of defiance wake up something within Mark.

Mark rubs Jaehyun’s sides, his fingers drawing circles up on Jaehyun’s waist. “You don’t have any reason to be scared,” he whispers, like it’s a secret, like saying it so tenderly won’t make Jaehyun deny it. And it doesn’t. Jaehyun stares at him with curiosity and hesitation, yet he waits for Mark to continue. “I could scare you if you wanted to, though.”

It takes Jaehyun a while to understand him. He freezes on Mark’s lap, lost pupils wandering over Mark’s face for answers, but both of them now that further explanations aren’t necessary. And this, at last, scares Jaehyun with full force, his hands travelling down Mark’s chest with a tremble. The mixture of his fear and his blatant hope is a delight for Mark, proves that Mark has the power to hurt him, and that’s how it has to be between them: Jaehyun giving Mark the power to hurt him, trusting that Mark will know what to do with it.

Jaehyun mutters, “What’s going on?”

Despite his confusion and reticence, Jaehyun remains on him, doesn’t shake Mark’s hands off him. Appreciating the chance Jaehyun is giving him, Mark decides that he deserves to know the truth and confesses, “I saw the porn tabs on your phone.”

“Mark, what the fuck,” Jaehyun grunts, and that’s the breaking point, what makes him scrunch his nose and scramble off from his lap. Mark didn’t imagine he’d take the revelation well, but Jaehyun _had_ to know anyhow.  Mark couldn’t begin this with a lie. “That’s such a big breach of trust. That’s-”

“When?” Mark interrupts, before Jaehyun can make a scene and spiral into panic. He has his right to do so, but Mark needs his head elsewhere, not into a fight. They can fight later, once Mark clarifies what this is about, and he’ll admit any reproaching that Jaehyun throws at him. “When did you start?”

Redirecting his thoughts is infallible. Jaehyun understands the question, and that’s enough for him to forget his indignation.

“I have never-” Jaehyun says, stare on the couch, on the space between them. He doesn’t have to say it: he has completely never given up on control. Jaehyun controls _everything, everyone_ in his life, except Mark. “Not with someone else, I mean. But sleeping with you was different and I-”

His voice dies down, and he lowers his head until Mark can’t look into his eyes, a pink blush across his cheeks. Mark cedes him a couple of seconds, because Jaehyun has the right to feel shy over this. Mark prepared himself, but Jaehyun had no idea of what he was going to confront.

Jaehyun takes too much time to process it, however, enough for Mark to intervene. Unlike him, Jaehyun isn’t ready to open up this easily. Mark caresses under his chin, forcing his head up, and watches the color of his cheeks become an even deeper red. It’s not every day that Jaehyun presents himself like this – he’s shy with new people, but this isn’t mere shyness, it’s shame for baring his own secrets to someone that could feel disgusted by them.

“You don’t have to be ashamed,” Mark assures him, tilting his head to look at Jaehyun’s face better.

Jaehyun’s eyelashes flutter close, but judging how he sighs and relaxes, he believes him.

“I looked it up,” he admits, voice raspy. “I didn’t know if I liked… that, so I wanted to see what it was about.” Jaehyun makes a pause, opens his eyes and observes Mark’s expression like he’s expecting to be laughed at. Mark would never, not in this situation; he nods, almost imperceptibly, so that Jaehyun knows he’s not repulsed. “When we’re together, sometimes you look at me and I feel like you could do anything to me.”

The choice of words is too vague. Mark understands that it’s not Jaehyun’s job to be explicit, because it’s not his field anyway. it’s Mark’s. That’s why he runs a hand through Jaehyun’s hair, moving his bangs away from his eyes, and bends closer and closer, until he can feel Jaehyun’s breath on his lips. Until he can see the confusion in his eyes and feel his chest move erratically, like he has forgotten how to breathe. Jaehyun’s reaction is a pleasure to his eyes. His little, scared Jaehyun.

“Anything?” Mark repeats. His heart speeds up when Jaehyun utters a faint _yes_ , dazzled. “What is _anything_? Spanking?”

Jaehyun is at loss of words, perhaps because it’s embarrassing that’s the first thing Mark is bringing up. “More than that.”

“More than that,” Mark whispers back, trying to confirm that he has heard right.

Considering how Jaehyun is unable to look him into the eyes again, Mark didn’t misheard. He wants to know, really, yet pushing Jaehyun’s buttons too fast isn’t a good idea. Jaehyun should be comfortable and be certain that Mark is here to please him, not to judge him. And overall, he has to learn that he must respect Mark’s limits as well, and that if Mark doesn’t agree with him, then they won’t push through either.

Mark sits back on the couch in an attempt to put distance between them. It’s not fair to shoot questions while they want to fuck each other, because Jaehyun’s capacity to decide will be blurred. Jaehyun ignores that, however, and sends Mark the most heartbroken look ever.

“We have to talk about this,” Mark tells him. His own body sends a wave of nervousness through his muscles, and he ignores how hurt Jaehyun looks over such a small detail. This is important for him too, not only because of his relationship with Jaehyun, but also for his own well-being. “I’m going to tell you what I can do for you. What I want to do to you. And then you’ll tell me what you’d like from that. If it’s nothing, then it’s nothing.” Mark extends his hands upwards over his thighs, as to offer him complete freedom. “I’m open to ideas. If you want to go on after that, then we’ll discuss rules, safewords, anything you need to know.”

Jaehyun opens his mouth, but no words come out. That isn’t a complete negative, however, and Mark gives his thigh a squeeze to let him know that it’s okay not to answer now. Mark can wait, just like he could have kept their relationship as it was; if Jaehyun isn’t ready to take this leap, then they won’t jump.

But after taking a deep breath, Jaehyun nods.

 

 

 

 

Having the talk with Jaehyun is hard, yet describing it as _hard_ is an understatement. Jaehyun is disposed to talk, and when he realizes that his little secrets and wishes are safe with Mark, he isn’t so reticent to reveal them. The issue is that, since it’s the first time he openly shares them, his excitements gets the best of him.

Mark doesn’t blame him for not being able to maintain a cold head, and at first he accepts Jaehyun’s advances, how sometimes he interrupts Mark with a kiss and they entangle themselves in the mess they are. By the third time they end up fucking instead of setting the grounds of their relationship, Mark decides to be firm and not let Jaehyun convince him.

It’s complicated for Mark too. He’s dying to touch Jaehyun how his body needs to, but he can’t do so until he has known all of Jaehyun’s boundaries. Jaehyun might freak out in the middle of a scene instead, or he could be incapable of stopping Mark if he panics, and Mark doesn’t want to ruin this for him. One bad experience and he could feel dissuaded forever.

“Isn’t it enough?” Jaehyun asks one week later, when Mark pulls him into bed and instead of kissing him, he bombards him with questions. Jaehyun flounders over the pillow, sinking his chin to find the most comfortable position, still visibly dismayed by the lack of attention from Mark. “I don’t even know half of the things you ask about.”

Mark represses a laugh, his fingers brushing Jaehyun’s hair. It’s curious, but this has brought them closer, which at last was the purpose of talking it through; still, it’s the first time Mark connects so well with his soon to be sub. And while Jaehyun was worried at first, he has gotten used to negotiating and speaking up for himself. Speaking isn’t action, however, so Mark feels wary of how he will react.

It’s such a pity that all that confidence is going to disappear as soon as Mark has him in the scene. Jaehyun might have the will, but not the imagination to prepare himself, since a fantasy has nothing to do with feeling it on your own flesh.

“You’ll learn,” Mark assures him. He doesn’t add _if you want to_. Jaehyun will have to obey, because obeying is what he wants to do.

 

 

 

 

Looking for the perfect moment is a matter of pride, of Mark’s swelling, ridiculous pride.

Mark has never been the one to half-ass a scene. He could initiate Jaehyun easily on another regular night they spend together, but Jaehyun wouldn’t be able to taste a first time as it should be tasted. It’d be a good option to prevent an accident, since it’d be familiar territory for Jaehyun, but Mark is sure that they won’t suffer any mishap.  

The level of safety Jaehyun feels shouldn’t depend on how familiar he is with the situation. Mark needs to set him in a new situation and teach Jaehyun the first lesson: that he’ll feel comfortable if he trusts Mark.

And for that, Mark needs a perfect chance. Those moments can’t be looked for, because it’s the sort of moment that appears uncalled, and Mark waits for it with all the patience he manages to gather. It’s a patience he needs not to dive into Jaehyun’s daily requests, not to give in when he’s deep into Jaehyun and Jaehyun begs to be hit, as if they had done that before, as if it was the most natural request for them. Touching Jaehyun in the wrong moment would spoil everything, and Mark knows that Jaehyun, his impatient but meticulous Jaehyun, will understand as time passes.

And when the right time comes, Mark knows without a doubt.

Jeno has invited them over for lunch, though it’s almost one in the morning and all of them have winded up drinking in the garden.

(The invitation was just an excuse for Jeno to introduce Renjun to them, and even if Mark is curious about his friend’s love life, he’s sure that the boy has no idea that Jeno is crushing on him. And Mark doesn’t care much about these formalities, considering how Jaehyun and he jumped right into the fucking and then told everyone that they were dating just so that they didn’t ask any more questions).

And that night, when Mark walks back into the garden after having a long, deep conversation with a clearly drunk Yukhei, his eyes find Jaehyun like he’s a magnet. He’s talking to Renjun, a big smile on his face and a drink in his hand, and is too entertained to notice that Mark is devouring him with his eyes.

Mark isn’t drunk, just tipsy; he’s drunk on other emotions, like the euphoria of discovering this side of Jaehyun, like the pulsating certainty that Jaehyun will be coy when Mark approaches him in a situation without privacy. A good, perfect boy like Jaehyun must have never done anything spicy in front of his friends; not even kissing, judging how Youngho describes him sometimes. Mark wonders if he has ever kissed a boy in public, or unlike Mark, he has dedicated his life to pretending to be the straight good boy that his parents want him to be.

Despite how accessible Jaehyun looks now, Mark wanders around at first, observing how Jaehyun chats with Renjun. He’s not interested in that, because he has witnessed this social side of Jaehyun a million times, but Mark decides to respect Renjun’s space for a while. And so, once he walks up to Jaehyun, he simply slings an arm around his hips, a firm hand on Jaehyun’s side. The physical contact is dissonant enough for Jaehyun: they barely touch in public, less if one of them is in the middle of a conversation, this Jaehyun’s shock is quite evident. On the other hand, Mark controls his expression and rejoices in the bewilderment of Jaehyun’s gaze; the only hint he sends Jaehyun is a slight rise of his eyebrows, as to dare him to rebel.

Jaehyun can be pretty innocent at times, but he catches on quickly when it comes to Mark. Watching him crumble bit by bit is pure joy for Mark, who just smiles when Jaehyun begins to stutter over his words, when it’s obvious that he’s incapable of holding a conversation with Renjun and deal with Mark’s games at the same time. Mark lets him embarrass himself for a couple of minutes, and then takes over.

It’s just natural that Renjun notices something is wrong, though Mark is certain he brushes it off as a couple thing, as if they had fought and this was a subtle strategy to point out that Renjun is bothering them.

“What the hell are you doing?” Jaehyun whispers as he observes Renjun walk away, visibly troubled.

Jaehyun’s confusion is normal, for Mark is acting more like a jealous boyfriend than anything. It’s pretty funny that Jaehyun could assume that, but Mark’s grip on him tells that exact story, and so does the fact that Mark has shooed Renjun away with his body language alone.

“Claiming what’s mine,” Mark assures him, serious.

Jaehyun is speechless, coy as he concludes that he’s not having hallucinations. Mark doesn’t treat him like this out of bed. He should have imagined this would happen sooner or later, however, so it’s his fault to be caught off guard. And yet when Jaehyun looks away from him, embarrassed, Mark can’t help but feel ecstatic.

“You’re ridiculous,” Jaehyun grunts, and that’s all he can say, the strongest defense he has against him.

Even in the darkness of the garden, Mark can see that he’s blushing a little; Jaehyun’s skin is pretty sensitive, and it prevents him from hiding any of his emotions. It’s perfect to leave bruises on it as well. Hickeys lasts for weeks, with an ardent purple, until they become a faint red spot.

“Am I?” Mark faces him, bringing him closer. Too close, judging the faint gasp that leaves Jaehyun’s lips. Too intimate, judging how Jaehyun stops breathing when Mark’s hands travel down and down until he’s holding Jaehyun’s butt, pressing their hips together. “Tell me.”

Jaehyun can’t remember what they were talking about. His eyes wander from Mark’s face to a point behind him, and his legs tremble with the insecurity of not understanding what’s happening.

 “Mark, what-?” he begins, eyes unfocused. He blinks several times, first at Mark, then at nothing, and then mutters. “Jeno is looking.”

That’s what Mark suspected, the only reason Jaehyun is ashamed of this public gesture of _affection_. He hums, “And?” Jaehyun doesn’t understand the challenge, and his gaze looks for the answer in Mark’s expression, like a lost puppy in need of a guide. Of orders. “Don’t look into my eyes.”

The way Jaehyun bows his head right away excites every nerve of Mark’s body. It clicks, as if Jaehyun has put all the pieces together at last and he’s disposed to play along. In front of Jeno, or anyone, just because Mark says so.

“You don’t have any say in this,” Mark reminds him.

 Jaehyun knows.

 

 

 

 

For a whole minute, Mark wonders if he should leave Jaehyun like this: kneeling in front of him, Mark’s dick hitting the back of his throat, and his boner strained in his pants. Untouched, as if it was a punishment, for days. He could order him not to masturbate on his own, even, and Jaehyun would have to obey.

Jaehyun has never sucked him off with so much eagerness, and Mark is sure he could come within a second if he let go of his self-restraint. Jaehyun looks so pretty, with his eyelashes fluttering at Mark as he checks if Mark likes what he’s doing, so desperate to please, to be good, to convince Mark to give him what he wants.

And Jaehyun deserves it, sure. Mark has made him do the whole job: drag Mark to the couch while he pretended he didn’t know what this was about, unbuckle his pants, make him hard as Mark observed him with a disdainful smirk on his lips. It was fun, at least until Jaehyun had decided to give him the best blowjob of his life.

But maybe he did too much of a good job, and when Jaehyun goes even deeper, using his throat instead of his tongue to tighten around his dick, Mark realizes he has never come in his mouth. It’s one of those realizations born out of pleasure, because suddenly Mark needs to watch Jaehyun swallow his cum, the pretty corners of his lips tainted and dirty; needs to watch him pass his tongue over his lips. And only then Jaehyun would reach, as Mark buckled up his pants, the conclusion that Mark isn’t going to touch him tonight.

To Jaehyun’s luck, Mark still wants to touch him. Because if Jaehyun wishes to please him that much, then Mark will stretch him until he breaks, bit by bit, and regrets his own will.

“Babe,” Mark calls him, fingers petting the crown of his messy hair. “Not so fast.”

Jaehyun doesn’t listen to him, perhaps because he doesn’t want to, perhaps because he’s fixed on satisfying him – and he knows that he’s doing it right, for Mark’s dick reacts to his tongue much better than he could ever do.

It’s the perfect opportunity for Mark to pull Jaehyun by his hair, and it’s the first time he does it without minding if he hurts Jaehyun or not. That catches Jaehyun by surprise, and when he finally stares up at Mark, lips red and swollen, there’s a hint of fear in his eyes. As though he thinks he has done something wrong.

“Behave,” Mark reminds him, cupping his chin and using his thumb to rub the precome that remains on his lips. “Isn’t it too soon for you to disobey?”

Jaehyun blinks in realization, eyes wide. Mark allows him to soak in that feeling, in Mark’s defying stare and the power he holds with Jaehyun on his knees. Mark bets that if he slipped a hand under his shirt, he could feel his heart speeding up at the thought of Mark controlling him. Jaehyun shouldn’t be calm. It’ll be worse for him if he underestimates Mark’s capacity.

Jaehyun licks his lips once and again, either tasting the precome or his own nervousness, and then whispers, “I’m sorry.”

He’s a good boy, and even if Mark wants to teach him that he must follow all his requests, irrational or not, he wants to enjoy him first. Use him a little, so that Jaehyun knows his place. Mark tucks his dick back into his pants, the brush of the fabric painfully stretching around his hardness, and sets his foot on Jaehyun’s chest.

It’s impossible not to draw a smile upon seeing Jaehyun’s hands hover, trembling, over his foot. He doesn’t understand why Mark would interrupt the blowjob, why he would cover himself as though they were finished. And he’s aware that he can’t touch Mark at all, that he can’t predict his moves either, and when Mark does push Jaehyun away with a firm kick, Jaehyun looks incredibly vulnerable. He falls back with his mouth half open, arms shooting back to support himself even if it’s too late to avoid the fall.

“Prepare yourself for me,” Mark says, not missing a beat, not giving Jaehyun time to recover his pride. Jaehyun gazes at him, and Mark rejoices at the sincerity of his perturbation. “I want you hard and on four.”

Jaehyun is confused, and for a moment he looks quite hurt. Mark counts to three so that Jaehyun can process that he has to follow the order, because he doesn’t want to grasp Jaehyun by the hair again without giving him a chance first. Jaehyun reacts at the count of two, scrambling to stand up and breathing in waves. It’s humiliating for him, because Mark leans back and observes every one of his moves with contempt, as if Jaehyun was a clumsy boy that has never slept with anyone before. He has never slept with the real Mark, that’s for sure.

Mark doesn’t move until he hears the door of his bedroom close, and only then he checks the time. Ten minutes. He palms his own hardness over the pants, hissing. Jaehyun left him so prepared, so ready to fuck him raw, that he has to cool himself. Ten minutes is enough for him to calm down, to revise what Jaehyun wanted and what he can do for him, and how. Mark hasn’t touched anyone that way in so long that it’s hard not to lose himself in his instinct.

Even though he respects Jaehyun’s time, he waits by the door, hearing every little sound he makes as he fingers himself. It’s new for the both of them, because usually Mark is the one who fingers Jaehyun, and they have sex so often that Jaehyun barely needs any preparation – and ten minutes should be enough for Jaehyun too, and if they aren’t, then Jaehyun will learn to be faster next time.

Mark’s heart hammers when he walks in, the click of the door making the silence expand inside. Not staring at Jaehyun is a challenge, so Mark dedicates him a quick glance: he’s not on four, but on his back, and as soon as he notices Mark’s presence, he remembers what he had to do. He looks so good, legs spread out and hips up to slip his arm underneath, that Mark regrets telling him to be on four. But he needs him that way, and so Mark pretends to be perfectly relaxed as he takes his clothes off, striping as slowly as if he was alone. The silence amplifies Jaehyun’s breathing, so loudly that it muffles the sound of Mark’s clothes rustling.

It’s just another night. The only difference is that Jaehyun is on his bed, face sunk on the sheets in an attempt not to beg for Mark to take pity on him, and that Mark’s dick springs up against his stomach when he gets rid of his pants, as hard as Jaehyun made him.

“Look at you,” Mark observes, walking closer to the bed. His own voice comes out raspy, but it doesn’t lose the strength he intends to use, nor shows how affected he feels. “I could use you, come in you and leave you right here, alone. And you wouldn’t say anything, would you?”

Mark might have not experienced this in a while, but this part of himself is engraved within, and he doesn’t hesitate for a single second. Jaehyun sighs as soon as Mark lands the first touch. It’s a mere touch on his back, but Jaehyun is so receptive, so sensitive that it’s enough for him to shiver. Mark roams his hands from his ass to his back, feeling Jaehyun up until he reaches his nape; Jaehyun bends bit by bit, as if Mark’s fingers are a weight that he can’t cope with, and never lifts his face from the pillow.

“Good,” Mark whispers, mostly to himself. “Just a little toy to use. But maybe they have played with you too many times, and I only like new toys.”

He pushes Jaehyun’s back down, biting back a laugh when Jaehyun tries to fight against him. New toys don’t break easily. He feels Jaehyun’s spine under his fingers, shoves him again, and marvels at how Jaehyun doesn’t yield. It burns Mark’s insides, because Jaehyun is desperately obeying his first order, afraid that he’ll regret it if he doesn’t. However, with his shaking legs and his instability, he collapses after Mark’s third push. It’s not voluntary, just his body giving in. Mark holds him by the hips right as Jaehyun arches his back to recover his position; Jaehyun believes Mark is helping him, but that illusion crumples when Mark rams him harder against the bed. Jaehyun falls face flat on the bed with a groan, and then he stays still, understanding that Mark is doing it on purpose.

Mark leaves a kiss on his nape, his lips bathing in the warmth that radiates from Jaehyun. “Good but messy. You’re so messy,” he mutters. Goosebumps extend all over Jaehyun’s back, and Mark kisses him again, for longer, with more delicacy, this time on his shoulder blade.

It’s evident that, even though wary, Jaehyun is ready. But Mark isn’t disposed to fuck him just yet, and Jaehyun must intuit that, because he doesn’t dare to move, not even to peek at him.

“You know what I love the most about your body?” Mark asks him. He draws his finger over Jaehyun’s spine, feeling every bump on the road, and then presses his fingers down so hard that Jaehyun jumps a little. Mark manages to see what he wants: Jaehyun’s skin reddening, the pressure of Mark’s fingers painted on his flesh. “Your skin is so sensitive. If I hit you,” Mark replies himself. His own dick jerks at the thought, at the sight of Jaehyun’s pale skin gaining the first bruise of the night, and finishes in a whisper, “I bet it won’t go away for days.”

Jaehyun doesn’t say a word, but his chest inflates against the mattress, and when Mark caresses down to his ass, he stops breathing altogether. It will last for days, if Mark wants to. Even weeks, once Jaehyun is ready for that.

“Do you know what I do with broken toys?” Mark asks him. Jaehyun is a delightful view when he fists the sheets, knuckles turning white, and shakes his head all over the pillow. Mark clicks his tongue. “Words, baby.”

Jaehyun tries, but his reply is a stifled whine, “ _No._ ”

Even though Jaehyun can’t see him, Mark smiles. “I throw them away.”

Jaehyun is a desperate, smart boy, and understands the warning without any more explanations. He has one chance to convince Mark, or they’ll never attempt this again.

Mark doesn’t hit him right away, decides to be merciful for Jaehyun’s sake, for how agitated he is. He caresses first, grabs his ass with delicacy and analyzes the rhythm of Jaehyun’s breathing. The lack of instantaneous pain relaxes him, though Mark can still distinguish the tension cramped in his shoulders, because Jaehyun doesn’t doubt that Mark will carry on.

Mark doesn’t hesitate this time: he lands the first hit on Jaehyun’s ass with his palm open, on the lower part of his left cheek. It’s a warning, since Mark has explained to Jaehyun how it works, but Jaehyun is too excited, too nervous, and instead of preparing himself for the next hit, he tenses up all over, whining out loud. Mark’s palm itches too, because Jaehyun’s flesh doesn’t bend as it should. It’s not advisable for Jaehyun to lose control so soon, but that’s his own problem. Mark doesn’t give him time to remember, forgets about the itching, and launches another hit without leniency. Jaehyun doesn’t whine at that: he groans out of pain, because his muscles are stiff and it hurts in a way it isn’t supposed to hurt. The pain, however, reminds him what he’s doing wrong at last.

“Relax,” Mark tells him, and then observes how Jaehyun has trouble to obey, one of his thighs trembling. Mark holds his thigh down in an attempt to stop him from shaking, to subdue his anxiety; it works to some extent, but he still feels the vibrations of Jaehyun’s muscles in his hold. “I said, relax.”

Hitting Jaehyun again would be a punishment and nothing else, for he has just learned how it hurts when he doesn’t follow Mark’s instructions. That fear alone manages to make Jaehyun calm down, pretty little puffs of air leaving his mouth. Mark counts to ten before touching him again, aware that Jaehyun won’t make it in less than that time, and that this is the test he must pass.

And then, when his hand crashes against Jaehyun’s ass again, the hit is flawless. Mark feels a wave of pleasure extend all over himself, and he fists his own dick, giving into the temptation. Jaehyun’s cheek is soft, receives the slap accommodating to Mark’s hands, and the impression of his hand becomes a red mark on his ass. Satisfaction strikes within Mark, and he smacks down again, and again, at least seven times on a row, jerking up and down his dick at the same time. Jaehyun moans at the first hit, yet he’s not expecting the rest; there are no complaints, thus Mark doesn’t stop, but Jaehyun screams by the fourth slap and tries to muffle the sounds with the pillow. Mark goes higher in intensity, his own palm burning, but Jaehyun takes every hit, letting Mark test his limits.

And all of a sudden, it’s Mark who needs to breathe for a moment, his heart racing and his brain void of thoughts – just impulses, those impulses that eat him whole when he has someone like Jaehyun under his control. Mark presses the base of his dick so hard that it hurts, but it’s that or coming on Jaehyun’s ass; no matter how arousing the thought of seeing white on Jaehyun’s red skin, if Mark comes, they’ll be done.  

It’s then, as Jaehyun has a moment of peace – barely a few seconds – that he can utter something different to moaning. What Jaehyun says, sounding agonized and desperate, is, “ _Mark._ ”

Mark isn’t able to tell if Jaehyun is whining because of the pain, because he wants more, or because he needs something else. Mark would swear if it’s the latter, and he can’t help but be smug at the mere idea of kissing and coddling Jaehyun now, at the idea of Jaehyun demanding affection because he’s behaving well.

“Don’t protest so soon,” Mark scolds him, a hint of annoyance in his voice. He can’t take his eyes off Jaehyun, however, one of his cheeks so red that the blush is extending to the parts Mark hasn’t even brushed. Mark has hit him so hard that he wonders if he has ever used so much strength on someone. And yet Jaehyun has endured it, loud and protesting, but not stopping him. “I don’t like you when you’re weak.”

Jaehyun makes a lamenting noise, clearly embarrassed at the disapproval. Mark strokes the back of his head to make him know that it’s fine, but Jaehyun doesn’t dare to lift his head and look at Mark’s face. He’s conscious that Mark’s soothing hands are a mirage, and that when he draws them away from his hair, he’s about to receive more than he has bargained for.

The logical move would be slapping the part of Jaehyun’s ass that Mark hasn’t touched, but Jaehyun seems to be stronger than Mark thought, so he takes some risks. He spanks him on the untouched zone once, then three times there where it’s all red; then on the other cheek again, just once, enough for Jaehyun to believe that he will break, and ten times where it hurts the most. Mark can feel the pain around his dick too, about to explode, the way Jaehyun melts every time Mark hits purposely to make him crumble down. It doesn’t worry Mark anymore; Jaehyun has a high barrier, but it’s a weak barrier, and there’s nothing more satisfying than destroying it like this.

It undoes Jaehyun so fast that Mark can’t believe his ears. He enjoys every moan of pain that leaves Jaehyun’s mouth, how he whines between hits to protest, to plead so that Mark stops, as though he couldn’t handle any more. He’s a great toy, and all of a sudden Mark wonders if he should break him, if it’d be worthy to see him break once, completely, and not to witness this ever again. But Jaehyun doesn’t surrender, because Mark hasn’t fucked him yet and he has to put up with this first; because he’s a good boy, and good boys get rewarded.

Despite his efforts, every spank makes Jaehyun forget his manners, and he forgets that he can’t come unless he’s given permission. Mark allows him to make that small mistake, watching him rub against the sheets to chase his own orgasm. Mark could stop him, could even grab Jaehyun by the hair and push him down on his dick to choke that spark of desperation, but if Jaehyun wants to disobey, he’ll have to learn by trial and error. The night doesn’t end just because Jaehyun is messing it up; and he might ignore that, but he will know soon.

“Don’t you dare come,” Mark warns him, feeling beyond breathless.

Jaehyun has always fucked with eagerness, but Mark has never had the chance to see him so undone, so useless that he can’t turn around and jerk himself off to completion.

Mark’s order is just words. And Jaehyun is unable to listen to him, for every slap sends him deeper into his own head, and he twirls and moans and fists the sheets as if that could save him from his bad decisions. When he’s on edge, more focused on coming against the sheets than on letting Mark spank him, Mark holds him by the hips and helps him to rub on the mattress.

It’s immediate. Jaehyun comes harder than Mark has ever seen him come, overwhelmed by the mixture of pain and pleasure, moaning so loud that not even the pillow can conceal it. Mark has the sudden urge to humiliate him for coming so easily, for the pressure of the mattress against his dick, like an oversensitive, inexperienced virgin. But it’s not the right time, not on Jaehyun’s first time, not after Mark has stretched his limits just to please his own needs.

That doesn’t mean that Jaehyun is allowed to rest. Mark grabs him and flips him over in the blink of an eye, manhandling him like a dead weight. That’s what he is. Jaehyun isn’t even able to look at him, eyes tightly closed on purpose, fearing what Mark will do to him.

He has his mouth open, however, to pant, and Mark bends down to trap his lower lip between his. Jaehyun responds to the kiss with pure distress, hands tugging at Mark’s neck so that he deepens the kiss, and thus forgetting that he shouldn’t touch Mark. Mark decides not to take it into account, but as Jaehyun’s tongue licks into his mouth, he jerks away with a laugh.

The pleading look Jaehyun sends him runs through Mark’s veins like venom. _It’s always romantic with Jaehyun_. It is, sort of. Mark knew that it’d happen, because for Jaehyun this requires a huge amount of trust, and Mark loves feeling that he has Jaehyun’s well being and safety in his hands. Mark doesn’t care that it’s romantic for him. He will deal with that later.

“Get on me, baby,” Mark says, sitting up, sliding a hand beneath Jaehyun’s neck to bring him up with him.

Jaehyun’s body is extremely fragile, so it’s difficult for him to straddle Mark on his own. Mark guides him, staring at his unsuspecting expression, at that certainty Jaehyun has that Mark will treat him right. That Mark will take care of him, because he was good and didn’t break, just lost a bit of control. And Mark does, but just in the beginning.

He kisses Jaehyun how he wants to be kissed, sweet and soft, a small gift for enduring the pain. He kisses Jaehyun as if they were in love, enjoying that it’d be so easy to break his heart after this. He kisses him until Jaehyun feels so safe that fucking him will feel like a betrayal, until Jaehyun draws a sincere smile in the kiss, believing that it’s over. He doesn’t even notice that Mark is pulling him up by the legs, and less does he suspect of Mark’s sudden tenderness, too satisfied to wonder.

Yet, in the exact instant Jaehyun feels Mark’s dick brush against his ass, that fairytale crumbles into pieces.

Jaehyun gasps, a hint of panic in his voice, “Wait, I-”

Mark knows what he intends to say. That he has just come, that he’s oversensitive, that Mark should give him some time; and yet, Jaehyun doesn’t finish his sentence, falling into realization and holding on Mark’s shoulders for support. Mark has to admit that he didn’t predict his reaction: Jaehyun accepting this without a complaint, as though he’s aware that he deserves it, regret and embarrassment reflected in his eyes. Mark expected him to rebel but instead, Jaehyun lowers his head and complies.

“You shouldn’t have come,” Mark whispers. Jaehyun looks away, even if Mark holds his chin and forces him to face him. He doesn’t mind that, because this is how Mark intended to have him: learning from his lack of self-control, learning that Mark will have his way with him if he doesn’t follow the rules. “This is how this works. I come first. You come if _I_ let you.”

Mark sets his hands on Jaehyun’s ass, and Jaehyun releases a soft hiss, the pain of the spanking accentuated by his touch. It’ll stay there for a few days, and Mark is going to strip him every night just to see it again.

But that pain is nothing compared with what Jaehyun feels when Mark pushes him down, the head of his cock sliding into his ass. The noise Jaehyun releases is far from being a moan of pleasure, it’s a whine from beginning to end, perhaps out of surprise even, because Mark has never fucked him when he had already come.

“Shit,” Mark curses, unable to bite his own tongue in time. His own dick burns at the sensation, because Jaehyun might have fingered himself, but he’s so tense now that Mark can’t bear how tight he is. He can’t go deeper, not without giving into his own pleasure, so he squeezes Jaehyun’s ass and grunts, “Calm down.”

Mark observes his expression with intent, and Jaehyun finally stares back at him, comprehending that Mark will punish him in a bad way if he doesn’t. The blush across Jaehyun’s cheeks, the bewilderment in his eyes, his swollen lips, it all looks like a wet dream for Mark.

It’s a challenge not to groan out loud as he thrusts into Jaehyun, able to go further up this time. He has neglected himself in favor of Jaehyun for too long, and it takes a lot of restraining not to bottom out right away and use Jaehyun just to come. The warmth around his dick is a relief, and Mark throws his head back with a sigh, trying to remember that this is supposed to be a punishment, that he can’t finish so soon. He knows it’ll be worth the patience.

Jaehyun’s bravery is gone as soon as Mark’s dick is fully inside him. He has always joked that Mark’s dick is too big, that he doesn’t all of it; that sometimes, when Mark hits deep enough, it’s all about pain and not pleasure. Perhaps that’s why Jaehyun realized he liked it. But now he shakes and squirms, opening his mouth and then pressing his lips together, unable to cope with so much at the same time. With Jaehyun straddling him, he fails at hiding his reactions, because he can’t sink his face in the pillow anymore; Mark can soak in every little reaction, every sound, every plea that escapes his lips.

That’s the reason Mark gives him a second to breathe, though he makes sure to press his fingers against the most mistreated zones of Jaehyun’s ass so that he doesn’t think about rebelling. That keeps Jaehyun in place, hissing at the pain, but conscious enough to mutter, “It hu-”

“Hurts?” Mark cuts in. Jaehyun is soft, pliant, cries out at Mark’s tone. He fingered himself so well for Mark that it’s ironical he’s going to suffer through this. It’s hard for Mark to be rational, too, as he feels how warm Jaehyun is. “I know.”

As soon as Mark tries to build a rhythm, Jaehyun’s eyes swell with the hint of tears. He blinks them away when Mark moves forward and kisses him, hips buckling up to go as deep as he can. Jaehyun gasps in the kiss, but he’s clearly please at the kiss, and Mark smiles and withdraws so that Jaehyun looks at him.

“You’re not a cry baby, are you?” he questions him, well aware that Jaehyun is going to cry anyway. That if he can’t take this mild overstimulation, he will be a mess once Mark decides to fuck him rougher.

It’s obvious Jaehyun has never been fucked after coming, not by Mark, and not by anyone else. Mark loves that this is the first time. Every inch of his dick makes Jaehyun moan out loud, fingers clutching on Mark’s shoulders to endure it. It works as a way to measure Jaehyun’s pain, and the more his nails sink into his skin, the more Mark enjoys it. Jaehyun is so out of it that he doesn’t notice that he’s hurting Mark, but Mark is going to make him pay for it next time.

Mark fucks into him slowly at first, makes sure he memorizes every detail of Jaehyun’s reactions and the way he looks at him – like Mark is the center of the world, despite the pain and the tears and how lost Jaehyun must feel. Mark has his limits too, especially with Jaehyun’s heat tightening around his dick, and even though he holds back, it’s inevitable for him not to thrust faster every time.

They’ve done this many times, but it’s not the same when Jaehyun has tears in his eyes. It’s not the same because Jaehyun likes the pain, looks for approval in Mark’s eyes, needy of praise, just his little toy to play with. Mark could push his buttons as much as he wishes to, could threaten him with ditching him. Jaehyun is so obedient, so perfect to receive orders after following rules all his life, that Mark could fuck him all night and Jaehyun will endure it all the way through, to the last drop of his sanity.

So it doesn’t surprise Mark that, as he breaks his hold over Jaehyun’s ass, the hold that is keeping the rhythm Mark has set, Jaehyun doesn’t take advantage of that to stop. He keeps riding Mark, aware that he’s free now, but unable to control himself anymore, too stimulated to keep his mouth close. It takes Mark two seconds to notice that Jaehyun is getting hard again, probably not because of Mark’s dick but because he’s enjoying the overstimulation.

Mark cups Jaehyun’s face between his hands, a gesture of love that drives Jaehyun to ride him harder, to fuck himself faster so that he can drag a reaction out of Mark. Mark has to bite his own tongue not to groan, but he’s lucky Jaehyun isn’t that familiar with his weaknesses. The pleasure doesn’t come only from Jaehyun around his cock; it comes from the way Jaehyun stares at him, so enthusiastic and desperate to make him come, to make him proud; it comes from the pink tint under his eyes, that characteristic blush of him that becomes so intense when they fuck; it comes from how Jaehyun rides him all the way down, hitting his hips so hard that Mark will have bruises tomorrow too.

“Be good,” Mark grunts, which means _don’t so fast_. He’s tempted to grab Jaehyun’s hips to slow him down, but he refuses to give in. It’d give Jaehyun a power that he should never have. So all he focuses is on gripping Jaehyun’s face and making sure he’s paying attention to him, only him. He draws his tongue over his upper lip, observing Jaehyun’s unfocused stare, and says, “Do it yourself and I’ll reward you.”

Jaehyun is smart enough to intuit that Mark is asking him to do all the work, so he nods his head without a doubt, ready to comply. It doesn’t get better than that. Mark lets go then, leaning back with immense joy, thinking only about coming inside Jaehyun. Jaehyun spreads his legs farther apart and throws his head back, now fully hard, giving Mark a view that will earn him his reward.

Being patient is a torture for Mark as well, because Jaehyun might be a mess, but he knows exactly how Mark likes him, and he puts himself on display on purpose. Mark plays with his hopes, caresses up his sides every time Jaehyun moans for him, jerks his hands away if Jaehyun tries to kiss him like the desperate bitch he is. And then, when he’s sure that Jaehyun believes Mark will come like this, he extends his fingers around Jaehyun’s neck.

It’s just a soft touch, a brush, but Jaehyun’s pupils dilate in the split of a second, his moves becoming erratic. Mark bathes in that moment of power, in how it’s impossible for Jaehyun to hide how much he needs that, whether he’s ready or not.

But Mark waits for the right moment, pressing his thumb down enough to tease him and then letting go. Jaehyun whines, slams his hips down so hard that Mark feels dizzy, and then begs, “Please, _please_.”

Mark’s dick pulses with the first wave of an upcoming orgasm; he immediately stiffens in an attempt not to come, but it feels like holding his own body on the edge of a cliff. It’s not the first time for Mark, but it’s the first time with someone that hasn’t experienced this before. He’s dying to watch Jaehyun asphyxiating under his touch, to see how it’s like for him, if he really likes it, if he will come out of excitement instead of pleasure.

Jaehyun probably expects to be treated roughly, to have his throat pressed until the air doesn’t flow to his lungs. That’s not what happens, not what has to happen. Mark uses all his strength to cut the blood travelling through his veins, bit by bit, feeling Jaehyun’s pulse speed up and die under his fingers. Jaehyun opens his mouth, like he’s about to ask _how_ , and before the lack of oxygen hits him with full force, Mark sees pure fascination in his eyes.

Mark’s wrist tremble because of the effort, but he doesn’t release Jaehyun, feeling his blood forcing itself against his touch. Then the world turns blurry for Mark too, and he doesn’t remember how he pinned Jaehyun on the bed, but suddenly Mark is slamming into him and Jaehyun is half gone, coming in spurts all over his stomach. Mark only needs a few thrusts to come too, and then the orgasm hits him so hard that he can’t see anything but white; then another wave, and another, and Mark loses count of it, unable to come down from the orgasm.

When he recovers his own consciousness, Mark realizes that he has slumped on Jaehyun; on Jaehyun, who’s completely limp and with his eyes closed, weakly breathing. The first thing Mark does is check his pulse, though to his relief he hears Jaehyun whine as he touches his neck again. The trail of Mark’s fingers is reddening around his neck too, and Mark has never seen anything so pretty.

He rolls off Jaehyun to give him some space and then brushes his hair away with care, trying to keep him in touch with reality. It’s always hard. Jaehyun must be feeling numb from the pain, but floating on cloud nine, and Mark has to bring him back step by step, not all at once.

“It’s okay,” Mark whispers. Jaehyun doesn’t answer, but his eyelids move almost imperceptibly in response. Mark nuzzles his neck, hearing the soft noise of gratitude Jaehyun makes when he feels Mark breathing in his neck. “It’s over. Don’t rush it, I’ll stay here.”

Mark would often not stay, because he’s used to cleaning himself and Jaehyun first and then going back into bed, no matter if he’s too tired to do so. But this moment is special, and as he observes Jaehyun undone on the mattress, so mistreated and lost into his own pain, he realizes that he doesn’t want to miss a single second. Jaehyun will regain his strength as hours pass by, but until then, Jaehyun is still his and only his, dependent on Mark because he’s too overwhelmed to function by himself.

And this is Mark’s favorite part.

**Author's Note:**

> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/renjucas)   
>  [Curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/berryboys)   
> 


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